When the rain is blowing in your face
& the whole world is on your case
I would offer you a warm embrace
to make you feel my love.

✧✧✧

People ask me when I started working with kids, and I find myself hard pressed to answer that question. I grew up with a mom that ran the childcare department of our church, and began volunteering in the church nursery when I was 14. My first job was at (what is now) Justice in the mall, and I became a toddler teacher at 16, which I stayed with for almost ten years. In my time as an infant teacher, I became an expert in allergies, diaper methods, and the swaddle. Much like a stay at home mom, my entire life was child rearing, even though they weren't my own.

The interesting part about being with little people from their infancy into their elementary school days is the inevitability of seeing them through hardships. From teething to the separating of their family unity, There were nights where it was us against the world. There were days we were all crying from exhaustion and frustration.  

I learned what it was like to be an anchor for little people. At first it was simple: to be there to mend their owies and sit in a steamy bathroom while their cough works its way out. To bring a change of clothes anywhere we went and to have snacks on hand at all times. To give them rest when they needed it and play when it was due.

As they've gotten older, it's been interesting to adapt to what they need now. It's less about snack accessibility and more about being there in the middle of the night when the nightmares hit and they need a reassuring presence, and in the middle of the day when they need some calm in the midst of chaos. It's about being the one they tell secrets to so they don't hurt someone's feelings when they feel like they're forced to take sides. 

For the moments when they're sitting on a bicycle without training wheels for the first time in their tiny lives and they want to be independent and prove they can do it themselves, but they plead with you to stay close "just in case". When they're frustrated because something isn't going the right way and they bury their face in your legs because they know you'll be able to be their voice. It's about training the voice in the back of their heads to tell them bravery can only be achieved if fear exists, and that their worth is not tied to a number, a job title, or romantic partner. 

I'm not a mother, but if that day comes, I think these little people have given me a pretty good trial run.

Lately I've been motivated to get out and try new things. The weather has been topsy turvy, with one day experiencing torrential downpours and the next a cloudless summer dream. This weekend was two full days of the latter, and I couldn't wait to get outside and explore it. 

Right near my house is the great Tyler State Park. I regularly visit the hiking trails and biking paths. And on the occasions I have little people in tow, we hit up the playground and soccer field. Winding through Tyler is a river, with several dams, waterfalls, and rope swings. Well, the perfect summer day called for a canoe trip.

The last time I was seen in a canoe was the summer of 99. Sleepaway church camp, to be exact. I wasn't great at it then, either, what with the overwhelming fear that I didn't know how to swim and a simple rock one way or the other could send us all overboard. But this time, I steeled myself, zippered up that life jacket, and pretended I had it all under control. The boat and my life vest matched my outfit, so at least I had that going for me. Plus, I've learned to bring along my handy-dandy Eagle Scout for occasions such as this. 

*for the record: yes, the only pictures I have from this excursion are of me. this is simply because I didn't want to bring my phone in the boat due to the inevitability of being capsized. iphones aren't waterproof.